At St Christopher’s our amazing foster carers make a huge difference to the lives of the young people they welcome into their families and homes.

Find out more from Nicky an inspiring and long standing foster carer with us who has extensive experience in supporting parents alongside their baby together in her home. Providing an opportunity for young families that need some help, to stay together…

“My role is to be a voice and advocate them. I provide a safe and secure environment enabling them the space they need to reflect, relax, grow and develop.

It is important to step back and not put your own style of parenting on to a mother placed with you, you have to remember that everyone has a differing approach and level of care with regards to their parenting. I have to be mindful of this while also keeping the balance of ensuring the baby is safe, clean and fully nurtured.

Being a parent and child carer is about helping the mum to find their own way of parenting which is best for them. It is about not being rigid in your approach.

You will work with a variety of professionals dependent on the baby and mum’s individual needs.  It is about nurturing both mother and baby, in particular with teenage mums and building that trusting relationship and rapport

Parents can bring a lot of insecurities with them into the home and personal issues which impact on them and you have to work to build a positive connection with them.

So far I have supported a parents with mental health needs, Special needs, a pregnant teenager, and also two individual teenage parents at the same time along with their children.

What always amazes me is the transformation of a mum from when they arrive to when it is time to leave. All generally come feeling they don’t really need to be here, they are generally very guarded, distrustful.

Then when it is time to leave, they are open and engaging with you, part of the family where they then feel the time living together has gone too quickly.

I learn something new with every family I support, everyone has a unique story, where they share with you their different experiences and journey and you are a part of helping them grow and develop.

What I have learnt, which is probably similar for any type of fostering, is that it is important to not treat everyone the same and to individualise your approach

One of my mum’s who moved to independence with her baby described what I did for her in feedback she provided for my annual review, stating I ‘Detangle the spaghetti’. I found this really profound that she felt I was helping her make sense of the confusion around her and in her own thinking and really captures what I do as a parent and child foster carer.

I would always say, ‘expect the unexpected’. My journey so far as carer for these intense and special placements has been a roller coaster of emotion, tears, frustration, and lots of joy and laughter.

My extended family is growing every year and I remain a point of connection and support in their lives.

I do not set out to change people’s lives, rather give them the stability, security and safe space to grow and develop in positive ways where I aim to give them different tools and skills for life.”

If you or anyone you know is interested in exploring fostering with the St Christopher’s charity, we welcome hearing from you. More info can be found here so reach out today and our friendly team will be in touch.